surisburnbook:

Jessica Simpson confirmed her pregnancy less than a week ago, and she’s already posting nearly-nude, duckface pregnancy photos of herself to Twitter. It’s going to be a long seventeen months.

surisburnbook:

NEWS ALERT: MONROE CANNON GOT GLASSES. I’ll just be up in my room laughing for the next four days or so. Mariah must be so mad that her baby turned out to be a nerd.

At least Monroe seems to have figured out that balloons are lame.

surisburnbook:

Who is this beautiful alien and what has she done with the walking embarrassment who lives in my apartment?

surisburnbook:

I negotiated with Tokyo while simultaneously wearing five different shades of pink at once. Perfectly.

Katie’s big project of the day was that poncho.

surisburnbook:

Good luck, Lorenzo. You’re gonna need it.

surisburnbook:

When are these people not being adorable? Here they are leaving Matilda’s gymnastics class and — in classic Ledger-Williams-Segel fashion — smiling.

I wonder if Michelle Williams realizes how good her life would be if she could just find a flattering shirt silhouette for her boyfriend and some non-drawstring shorts for her daughter.

surisburnbook:

Harper Beckham went to lunch in London with her glamorous parents, both of whom are participating (at least ceremonially) in the Olympics.

Yesterday, I got an emergency tetanus booster shot after I was afraid that Katie’s cab ride idea might have lasting consequences on my health.

I hate everything.

surisburnbook:

Fly commercial? You cannot be serious.

I am too delicate for peasant travel.